I’ve been stationed here watching them for a long time. I’m telling you, they always do this.
Alright, but I hope you understand what it is you’re suggesting. This would contradict everything we know about them!
That’s why it’s important! I needed you to come see it for yourself, describing it isn’t enough.
Alright, take me through it from the top…I guess.
Thank you. Well, as you can see, they use those machines to move farther and faster. The machines have not been present here for very long, but since their invention, they have quickly become essential to this society.
This is standard for species of their tech-level, no?
Certainly, we’ve seen similar machines before. The difference here is how they treat them, build them, style them.
Could the machines be religious idols for them?
I thought so, at first. They have been tearing their planet apart to build more and feed them. They design their cities for the machines rather than their own bodies. But still, they seem to be just travel vessels, nothing more significant.
Okay…why are there so many of them?
There’s about one per being. Well, only the fully grown ones get a machine. They use them to carry their young sometimes.
Hang on, they each have a personal machine?
Yes! Look, there’s usually only one of them in each machine! They each get their own and choose its color and shape. There is even a hierarchy of shapes, some being more appealing than others. The most appealing shapes cost the most currency.
Wait, slow down, why do they need so many different shapes? Why don’t they make a big machine that can fit many of them at once? Most creatures that use transport machines have a standard, perfected model for them.
It’s all brain stimulation. They feel immense superiority and joy from possessing a well-shaped machine.
Well, I suppose that too is pretty typical of their mental ability. They’re a bit impractical, it’s to be expected.
A bit, you say? Let me show you something. This is what they call “traffic.” Look, it’s all over the planet.
…What? I thought these were transport machines. Why are they just sitting there? You’re certain this isn’t a religious thing? They look pretty meditative.
I’m positive! Isn’t it bizarre? They do this every day. I think it’s just how they get around!
Are they suffering? Does it hurt?
I ran some tests on that. It’s not physically painful, but their brains exhibit prolonged flows of stress hormones during the process.
Okay, you weren’t kidding. Why do they do this to themselves? How do they get anything done? Can I take a closer look?
Please. Here’s a particularly bad one. As you can see, these “jams” are mostly caused by one negligent machine operator at the front of the pack.
Yes, I see…What are they doing?! That one has to-…No! What an imbecile!
I had to quit watching multiple revolutions ago. Trying to make sense of it will drive you insane.
That is shocking. What a waste of their existence! They are smart enough to know how temporary their mortal shells are, why do they spend their short time in physical-reality this way? They have such a beautiful planet.
They destroy their mortal shells with the machines all the time.
…What?!
The machines are much heavier and harder than their bodies. They die from them really easily.
…Are you saying they use transport machines, every single day, that can kill them?
Brutally. It’s constant. When one of them dies they have a huge traffic in their honor. I think it’s kind of beautiful, I’ve seen some big ones that way.
I’ve seen enough. That is ridiculous! I’m going to need the logs of all this. We definitely need to re-assess their intelligence rating.
Thomas Mazzaferro 